I cleaned out a junk drawer tonight and found an abundance of hospital bracelets. I used to stash them as a reminder of what we overcame. I know these frequent visits are a reality for many families, and I hope that we can find them soon. It's going to feel so good to have Lennon's Legacy Foundation start reaching out. In the new year, we are going to establish community partners, connect with families, and start distributing care packages.
We promise to do our best to honor your memory and make a difference for other children and their families. We love you and miss you, Len Len.
As this year comes to an end, I'm afraid of closing that chapter. I feel guilty for letting go. It reminds me so much of walking out of that PICU room with you still laying there.
You're no longer bedridden and bound to a rigorous medical regime, and I'm so grateful for that... but...
Even if I pulled the broken heart from my chest, you'd still be msising. My brain would still think of you. My arms would still miss your weight. My fingers would still long to comb through your curls or touch your sweet face.
I'd still smell the baby wash and your amino acids. I'd still hear your alarms in the middle of the night, or your "snoring", or your laugh.
You are ingrained in every cell of my body, just like the mitochondria were in every cell that failed in yours.
I miss you son.
Awake, asleep, happy, sad, morning, night, alone, surrounded...
I miss you.
